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Showing posts from March, 2006

Ringy Dingy Redux

The white flag is flying and I signed the surrender documents in the form of a cell phone service contract. After years of being the only lawyer in Mahoning County without one, I now proudly carry my own cell phone in my shirt pocket along with my pens, credit card receipts and laundry claim tickets. And if I set it just right to “manner mode”, instead of ringing, it shakes and shimmies right in my pocket and gives me a little thrill at no extra charge. Who knew? I have heard that crack cocaine is instantly addicting, but nothing can compare how dependent I have become on this little flip top thing in a single week. I have called everybody, and at all hours of the day. And I also found out that when I call them, my number is permanently implanted into their little flip top thing and they know how to call me back. My little screen that does everything but blow my nose said I had 6 voice mail messages waiting. Who knew? So then I had to spend an hour last night trying to set the voice ma

Seriously Afghanistan

In its history, The United States of America has only been invaded by foreign countries three times: the British in 1812, the Japanese in 1941 and by the Afghanistan/Taliban sponsored Al Qaeda in 2001. Whether or not one agrees with American policy in Iraq, I don’t think there exists any debate on the propriety of the subsequent American led Afghan invasion. The Taliban represented one of the most, if not the most, repressive regimes in modern history. Music was banned. There were mass executions in soccer stadiums for the most trivial of offenses. Women represented a slave class subject to complete control of their spouses. If they disobeyed their spouses, they could be executed. Female circumcision was widely practiced. The country was ruled by a group of Islamic clerics implementing the "Islamic" laws of the "religion of peace". NATO joined in the effort in Afghanistan, and is currently in charge of Afghan operations. NATO and the United States propped up Hamid K

CRASH

When I was younger, my wife and I made it a point to see all movies nominated for Best Picture of the Year prior to the Academy Award's television show. As I got older, I switched to seeing selective winners. After paying to see American Beauty , an Academy Award winner which in my humble opinion was one of the worst movies ever made, I simply stopped going to the movies on a regular basis opting instead to buy the DVD’s of movies on the level of Porky’s 1, 2 (my favorite), and 3 , and Clueless . This year’s nominees for the Academy Award for Best Picture looked particularly bleak, making me think that Hollywood needed a good dose of Prozac. Brokeback Mountain got the headlines. It isn’t that I am homophobic, but I can see that sort of thing for free at home on Will and Grace , Six Feet Under , Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: and going really hard core, Queer as Folk on Showtime. Oh my!!!!!!!! I was also familiar with the topics of Munich, Good Night and Good Luck , and Capote

Cabbages in the Lawn

My neighbor grows cabbages in her front yard. I don't mean close to her house. She grows 'em right smack dab in the middle of the lawn, complete with a fence to discourage those wascally wabbits. Not only cabbages, but also various asundry other vegetables. My neighborhood certainly isn't the most luxe in my area, but it can hold its own. It is an older neighborhood with big wooded lots and towering old growth trees. It borders the country club, but the newer houses on the other side of the golf course are larger and much more expensive. Yet visually it is certainly among the most attractive areas in the county. So I suppose I should be angry with the constant gardener. But I'm not. Alice is one of the many people in my community who enrich my life. She is a sweet elderly lady, a widow. When we moved here, she was the first to welcome us. She is always there to greet you with a smile and a big hello. She still works part time selling ladies cosmetics. She plays bridge w

All the King's Horses and All the King's Men

If I were a geneological expert, I would do a linealogy on the breakup of AT&T. The United States had spawned, through the miracle of capitalism, one of the most successful and enviable communication networks in the world. Ma Bell, in addition to making our phone system dependable and sure, was also the quintessential widows and orphans stock on which many a financial plan was built. Then along came MCI and Sprint, who decided they wanted a piece of the long distance action, and wanted to use AT&T's infrastructure to do it. The courts agreed, and in a monopoly busting frenzy, midwived the birth of Ameritech, Nynex, BellSouth, Bell Atlantic, Southwestern Bell, Pacific Telesis, and US West taking away "Telephone's" local service. AT&T kept the long distance business, while being forced to allow Sprint and MCI to use its telephone wires for their cut rate service. In addition, big, bad AT&T was subject to continual governmental supervision, while its new