Mark Knows It All

The American Revolution is not my most favorite period of history. But I do know that it is considered to be the Conservative Revolution. It was not a revolution rooted in the misfortune of the downtrodden like most such events, most notably the French and Russian Revolutions. The American Revolution was rooted in the privileged classes. It was a revolution to preserve property rights for those whose wealth was being taxed away without representation by an oppressive British Crown. Our founding fathers considered themselves to be proud British subjects who had recently participated with the mother country in defeating the French in the French and Indian War, establishing Britain as the primary European power in North America. These guys wanted to remain British subjects, but were faced with a King whose main goal shifted from the war toward paying off the government debt incurred thereby, as well as all of the other wars in which Britain was involved. How to do it? Disenfranchise the c

Happy Father’s Day to all of you Dads!! Days like Father’s Day or Mother’s Day are no-brainers for writers like me. Pull out the schmaltz and throw in some hearts and flowers…we can have our readers crying in their coffee mugs in 2 minutes. (C’mon, you know I can do it!). But me being me, I view Father’s Day as a chance to vent my continual frustration about the diminishment of the roles of fathers, and men generally, in our society. Watch television and the talk shows. The media likes to portray men as sperm donors first, and dumb and stupid second. Female celebrities are continually impregnated by men to whom they are not married, and to whom they may or may not marry at some time in the future, while they parade their “baby bump” in skin tight tops strutting up and down Rodeo Drive or as they go clubbing at night. It diminishes men. It diminishes the miracle of child birth, and it diminishes the mothers…and I use the term loosely. Let’s not even go to the single women who traipse ar

I took my car to Big Jim’s the other day for a wash and wax. Big Jim’s has been a fixture on Route 224 for years and years, and the people who Big Jim’s employs have worked there just as long. I got my formica card showing the type of wash I was getting; watched the carpet guys clean the mats and vacuum the floor, then went to pay my 12 bucks. I handed my car wash card to the cashier, and she asked, “Are you a senior?” I was taken aback. Something was askew. I’m not a senior. I don’t look like a senior. I don’t think like a senior…well…maybe. I feel like a senior!!!! But as Fernando said on Saturday Night Live years ago, it’s not how you feel,it’s how you look, and I look maahhhvelous!!! Maybe not marvelous!! Those bags under my raccoon eyes are a little disturbing. I asked her to define senior. “Are you 60?” she asked. No, I am 59…six months to go. “That’s okay, honey, I will give it to you anyway.” She replied. A reprieve!!!!! Such a deal!!! Not sixty, but I still get the discount!!!

Okay…so my 23 year old son comes home from Columbus last weekend and sees two pink tickets sitting on the counter for the Seraphim Spring Concert…an ice cream social entitled in The Good Old Summertime . He queried: “What in God’s name are these…and what is an ice cream social?” I explained to my progeny of the computer age that an ice cream social is just that. The Methodists among us know that in the summer, occasionally one goes to church on Sunday evening for some entertainment and ice cream…kind of like a Strawberry Social or a Cake Walk. A what???? I told him it was like The Music Man sociable at the end of the movie. My comments were met with a blank stare as he text messaged his friend on his cell phone. When this program was first proposed, I had some issues with it. It was too old. It was too dated. It didn’t attract young people. Even more frightening, it contained a whole lot of barbershop music, a new genre for our chorus, and difficult to sing if you want to do it right.