Ringy Dingy Redux

The white flag is flying and I signed the surrender documents in the form of a cell phone service contract. After years of being the only lawyer in Mahoning County without one, I now proudly carry my own cell phone in my shirt pocket along with my pens, credit card receipts and laundry claim tickets. And if I set it just right to “manner mode”, instead of ringing, it shakes and shimmies right in my pocket and gives me a little thrill at no extra charge. Who knew?

I have heard that crack cocaine is instantly addicting, but nothing can compare how dependent I have become on this little flip top thing in a single week. I have called everybody, and at all hours of the day. And I also found out that when I call them, my number is permanently implanted into their little flip top thing and they know how to call me back. My little screen that does everything but blow my nose said I had 6 voice mail messages waiting. Who knew?

So then I had to spend an hour last night trying to set the voice mail up so I could listen to my messages. That little phone bugger pinged and ringed and blinked, but I couldn’t figure out how to get to the voice mail. My fat fingers are too big to push the little buttons that allow me to access all the marvelous things the little gizmo can do, including the voice mail. But this sexy female voice kept offering me encouragement with words like “Are your ready to set it up? Let’s give it a try”. Oh, Mama!!! 1500 any time minutes, unlimited long distance, and that too? If that’s what this babe tells me for voice mail, I can’t imagine what I’ll get for text messaging. Who knew?

And now I can drive like all the crazies on the road with the cell phone stuck to my ear. Before, I wondered what these folks could possibly have to say. Now I know, especially the guys. They are listening to that babe at the other end saying she will help them try to set it up. Maybe next I’ll get one of those things that I can put around my ear so I can listen all the time. And here is something else. Now that On Star babe who says “OK, you can start talking”, I give her only one ringy dingy. Sounds too much like a wife. But that Alltel babe..... she is definitely 5 ringy dingy material. And all for $79.00/month. Who knew?

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi Mark:

Loved your blog about cell phones. I did not set my voice mail up for a while, and never knew how to retrieve my messages until I got on the stick and finally learned. I give you a great deal of credit for learning all of that in the first week! Have fun with your cell phone, and the new "babe" who talks so nice to you!! LOL Maybe I should request a male voice on mine, as I could use a few kind words during the day myself. LOL

One of your fans,


SK
7:50 PM
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