My Kitchen Desk
I don’t know about you, but my mail has become increasingly more voluminous. Each day I find my mail box filled with all sorts of things, most of which I haven’t asked for nor do I want. I generally stick the pile on the desk in the kitchen, and by the end of the week, or month sometimes, the pile becomes unmanageable and I have to clean it. That becomes almost an imperative if we have company coming. So last week, prior to my choir party, my wife gently suggested that I “get all of that s_____” (c’mon, you know she said “stuff”) off of the kitchen desk so people don’t think that we live like slobs.
I dutifully got out a 40 gallon garbage bag and went to work. What a treasure trove of “stuff”. Here is what I found. Did you know that there are at least three companies that will allow you to lock in your natural gas prices for the next three years so you don’t have to worry about increasing natural gas prices? I made some inquiries as to how this works, and I was told that if natural gas prices go down, these companies make a lot of money. If they go up, these companies will file bankruptcy and you end up paying higher prices anyway. I think I will pass.
I found at least 20 credit applications. Aren’t these folks optimistic? I already have too many credit cards and have made a deliberate effort to pay them all off. But I was told that makes me a more attractive candidate for additional credit cards. Reminds me of John D. Rockefeller’s response to the question: how much money is enough? "Just a little bit more". How many Visa cards are enough? Just a few more. I think I will pass.
For the credit cards that I have, I found books of credit card checks with which to pay off my other credit cards at unbelievably low rates that are locked in until at least a week next Thursday. I can pay off other credit cards, remodel my house, take a vacation, pay for my kid’s college tuition. What I would like to do is what a late friend of mine did. He knew he was dying of lung cancer, and wrote checks in excess of $50,000.00 against his credit cards. His wife found out about it after he died when the bills and telephone calls started. Thankfully she wasn’t a signatory on the account, and he really didn’t have an estate to attach. We were able to follow the deposits and cash withdrawals from his personal bank account. Now this guy had a paramour, and when I asked her about the missing money, she responded “What money?” Tempting, but I think I will pass. Something about committing a felony in death that is a tad unappealing.
I also found a party invitation to which I had not responded. I had to make a quick telephone call. I found my electric bill, which was long overdue; my telephone bill, which was long overdue; my cable bill, which was long overdue; and my gasoline bill; which was long overdue. I had to make some more quick telephone calls.
Miscellaneous stuff found: My AAA application (hope my car starts); church envelopes (don’t want to anger the Lord); Wild Birds Unlimited Circular (time to buy bird seed); the calculator that has been missing for 3 months (now I can balance my checkbook); and a partridge in a pear tree.
I found lots of catalogues….for men’s clothes, women’s clothes, household decorating stuff, gadget stuff. One of my favorites is the Vermont Country Store catalogue where you can buy all the old stuff you can’t buy anywhere else. They are still selling Jade East men’s cologne. I will never have to go the mall again. Actually, some of the catalogues are pretty nice. I saved most of them, just moved them to bathroom where I will have the time read them in my own version of multi-tasking. My wife only yells about the bathroom stuff once a year.
Of course the biggest problem we have is that stuff on desk has grown to the point where it has spread to the counter on the other side of the refrigerator. That is where I keep the really important stuff that I have to take the office tomorrow, or at least by the end of the month. I think we will put an addition on the house, just for the stuff on the desk…and kitchen counter on the other side of the refrigerator. And oh yes, God bless paper shredders.
I dutifully got out a 40 gallon garbage bag and went to work. What a treasure trove of “stuff”. Here is what I found. Did you know that there are at least three companies that will allow you to lock in your natural gas prices for the next three years so you don’t have to worry about increasing natural gas prices? I made some inquiries as to how this works, and I was told that if natural gas prices go down, these companies make a lot of money. If they go up, these companies will file bankruptcy and you end up paying higher prices anyway. I think I will pass.
I found at least 20 credit applications. Aren’t these folks optimistic? I already have too many credit cards and have made a deliberate effort to pay them all off. But I was told that makes me a more attractive candidate for additional credit cards. Reminds me of John D. Rockefeller’s response to the question: how much money is enough? "Just a little bit more". How many Visa cards are enough? Just a few more. I think I will pass.
For the credit cards that I have, I found books of credit card checks with which to pay off my other credit cards at unbelievably low rates that are locked in until at least a week next Thursday. I can pay off other credit cards, remodel my house, take a vacation, pay for my kid’s college tuition. What I would like to do is what a late friend of mine did. He knew he was dying of lung cancer, and wrote checks in excess of $50,000.00 against his credit cards. His wife found out about it after he died when the bills and telephone calls started. Thankfully she wasn’t a signatory on the account, and he really didn’t have an estate to attach. We were able to follow the deposits and cash withdrawals from his personal bank account. Now this guy had a paramour, and when I asked her about the missing money, she responded “What money?” Tempting, but I think I will pass. Something about committing a felony in death that is a tad unappealing.
I also found a party invitation to which I had not responded. I had to make a quick telephone call. I found my electric bill, which was long overdue; my telephone bill, which was long overdue; my cable bill, which was long overdue; and my gasoline bill; which was long overdue. I had to make some more quick telephone calls.
Miscellaneous stuff found: My AAA application (hope my car starts); church envelopes (don’t want to anger the Lord); Wild Birds Unlimited Circular (time to buy bird seed); the calculator that has been missing for 3 months (now I can balance my checkbook); and a partridge in a pear tree.
I found lots of catalogues….for men’s clothes, women’s clothes, household decorating stuff, gadget stuff. One of my favorites is the Vermont Country Store catalogue where you can buy all the old stuff you can’t buy anywhere else. They are still selling Jade East men’s cologne. I will never have to go the mall again. Actually, some of the catalogues are pretty nice. I saved most of them, just moved them to bathroom where I will have the time read them in my own version of multi-tasking. My wife only yells about the bathroom stuff once a year.
Of course the biggest problem we have is that stuff on desk has grown to the point where it has spread to the counter on the other side of the refrigerator. That is where I keep the really important stuff that I have to take the office tomorrow, or at least by the end of the month. I think we will put an addition on the house, just for the stuff on the desk…and kitchen counter on the other side of the refrigerator. And oh yes, God bless paper shredders.
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