Vivaldi and the Earworm

I have come to the conclusion that Vivaldi must have been a Democrat. He has planted an earworm in my head, and I can’t get it out. I have done everything to get this horrendous gavotte out of my head, but Domine Dei Unigenite keeps be-bopping around between my ears. I even tried banging my head against the wall, and all this Republican stuff came flowing out all available orifices leaving Domine Dei Unigenite ba ba-ba ba-baing over and over and over again in the caverns of my brain. I dare you to play it more than once, and you will be humming it forever and ever and ever and ever…and I don’t mean the Hallelujah Chorus. You can listen to it here.

Let’s start with the basics. Wikipedia defines an“earworm” as “a portion of a song or other music that repeats compulsively within one's mind, put colloquially as "music being stuck in one's head." If you fancy yourself to be a half baked musician like myself, it happens over and over again. My last earworm was a song my church choir sang done in an African motif. I kept building “my church, my church, upon this rock, this rock…I’ll build my church, my church, upon this rock, this rock” over and over and over again.

This went on until choir practice on Monday night, when the Vivaldi devil supplanted that African ditty. This dainty minuet written in 3, counted in two, but sung in four has taken over my life. No longer is it Some Enchanted Evening in the shower. Now its Do meeeeeeee nay daaaaay eeeeeeee oooooooo neeeeee geeeeeniteeeeee…Do meeeeeeee nay daaaaaaeeeee….
Lord, take me now!

People have actually studied earworms, and have developed parameters as to why some songs tend to do this to people and others don’t. Generally there is a simple melody line that repeats over and over again along with a discernable beat. Numerous people have actually tried to develop lists of the Top Ten Earworm Songs. I doubt if Domine Dei Unigenite made any of their lists, but then they don’t got no class.

So I have taken it upon myself, as a public service, to review those lists and pick and choose my Top Ten list of Earworm tunes:

10) Who Let The Dogs Out? I’m not sure, but whoever it is should be shot along with the dogs.

9) Achy Breaky Heart: Billy Ray Cyrus’ claim to fame, and we are the worse for it. Someone must have given him CPR.

8) Telephone: If you haven’t heard this Lady Gaga opus, do yourself a favor and don’t. Even the clean version of the video is obscene. But parody versions redeem this club favorite. I have linked to one of those.

7) Single Ladies: Beyonce will have you wha oh oh-ing in your tutu. If your children are pre-teen girls…you will quickly view this song as cruel and unusual punishment. Lil' darlins' love it.

6) TIE: Lucille/Elvira: Kenny Rogers and The Oakridge Boys must have conspired to take control of our minds. Quick! Find Dr. Spock for a mind meld.

5) In The Summertime: Mungo Jerry did the impossible. He made me wish for winter.

4) TIE: Jingle Bell Rock / Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Brenda Lee and Bruce Springstein might as well have recorded these songs together rather than 30 years apart giving us a legacy that sticks with us more than a plum pudding. Is it too late to change religions? (Honorable mention: Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel).

3) I Got You Babe: Sonny and Cher got each other, but they were able to get a divorce. How do we divorce ourselves from this song? Anyone got a lawyer!

2) The Brady Bunch Theme: The show lives forever in syndication. Florence Henderson lives forever in Dancing with the Stars; and this theme song will be in our brains even after we die.

1) It’s a Small World Afterall: Gotcha! Just mentioning it made you groan, didn’t it?. Need I say more?

If you can’t get the small world tune out of your head, try that Domine Dei Unigenite thing at the beginning of the blog. Works every time!

Happy Trails to you.. until we meet again. Sorry!!

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