Happy New Year...Mark Style!!

My New Year’s resolutions for 2011: I resolve to lose fifty pounds. I resolve to work out at least three times per week. I resolve not to swear. I resolve to get things done when they are supposed to be done. I resolve to be nice to ALL of my relatives. I resolve to clean out my drawers and my closet. I resolve to save money and not use my credit cards. I resolve not to drink so much on Friday nights.

And if you believe that, let me talk to you about some land I own in Las Vegas. Are we nuts or what? On the list of holidays, Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas are my top three. The bottom three on my list are the Fourth of July, New Year’s, New Year’s, and New Year’s again. I know that is four, but I must have forgotten to resolve last year to learn how to count.

As you can tell, I dislike New Year’s as a holiday intensely. They don’t come much more depressing. All of those glittering Christmas decorations all of a sudden look sad and shabby. The hoopla of the holiday season is over as you hit the inevitable brick wall let down. And there is more work taking down the Christmas finery…well, my wife takes it down while I watch intently. (We take down the stuff you can see on the outside of the house, and leave the lights up until spring when it is warmer).

July 4th and New Year’s are both transition holidays. As everyone is making jolly on New Year’s Eve, all I can see is another year gone by in which I failed to reach some unattainable goal I set the year before. Same goes with the Independence Day. The summer solstice is over and the days are beginning to get ever so shorter. Nothing is quieter than sitting on the back porch listening to distant fireworks. Get me some pills!!!!

The one solace has always been the college football games, and even those are screwed up. Sure, some of the bowl games are on New Years Day, but not the championship game. And this year Ohio State is playing on January 4th, I believe, suspended players and all. Speaking of which, guys…your Big Ten championship ring for a tattoo? Really?

But all bad things resolve to the good. January 2nd follows January 1st, and that is when the New Year really gets going as I forsake my guilt ridden New Year’s resolutions for another piece of chocolate cake; sit down to watch television instead of walking at the mall; squish my Christmas sweater back into my over stuffed drawers; pour myself a Jack Daniels; blow off a few of my relatives; make sure I "God Damn" the Democratic Party; and order something I don’t need from QVC trying out my new Mastercard.

Life is good; and THAT'S a Happy New Year.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Strouss-Hirshberg; Things That Aren't There Anymore

Image
Youngstown was at the heart of the American industrial revolution in the mid 1800’s. During World War I, more steel came from Youngstown than anywhere else in the world. It’s no wonder, then, that the area was home of some of the best of everything, including department stores. Strouss-Hirshberg and McKelvey’s were the Macy’s and Gimbels of northeast Ohio, and offered to local residents the best of what money could buy. Strouss will always hold a special place in the heart of this area. It is hard to believe that there are twenty somethings today that haven't heard of it, or go “huh?” when you mention it. I tried doing some research on its history. Believe it or not, it is hard to find. As near as I could figure, the Strouss Hirshberg Company was originally known as D. Theobald and Company. Isaac Strouss clerked there, and eventually bought the store in 1875 with his new partner Bernard Hirshberg. The store was incorporated in 1906. The Readers Digest version of the life of the
Read more

Hope vs. Aspiration

Image
Don't forget to visit http://www.markknowsitall.com/ Hope: to have a wish to get or do something or for something to happen or be true. Aspiration : a desire or ambition to achieve something. As the 2008 presidential campaign heats up, Barack Obama is in full gear selling his vision for the future of America. He is for “hope” and “change.” …and oh yes, peace. He is also for “peace.” Aren’t we all? Obama, the oratorical wunderkind with the speech cadence of Martin Luther King, is doing a fine job of telling us what we should hope for, and how he is going to give it to us. He is a riveting individual and a spell binding speech giver. Hope is a good thing, right? Obama believes Americans are “hope” deficient. Americans “hope” for universal (read “government run”) health care, even though 85% of Americans have coverage, and 25% of those who do not aren't American citizens, and an additional 14% of those who don’t can afford it but simply choose not buy it, and a portion of the re
Read more

New and Improved: Big Bosomed Women Who Party

Image
Of all the words in the English language that I have learned to fear and despise, the phrase that sends chills up and down my spine the most is "new and improved."   The new part is probably right, at least partially, but the improved is open to question.   It usually translates to confusion, work, and money.   This is especially true of the computer geeks at Google, You Tube and Facebook, along with all of my stock programs.   Those are particularly aggravating because I actually pay a monthly fee for some of these digital age gems. What is wrong with these people?   Do they take delight in terrorizing hundreds of millions of people by making them figure out how to get a program or site to do what it used to before they made it better?   Case in point is Google, the most used search engine in the world.   Google does everything for you now but go to the bathroom, and it can probably give a print out for that too.   I think it can actually predict when you will belch.   It t
Read more