Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks
I am tired of learning new things, and it is getting scarier by the day. I remember a time when I wanted to listen to music, I would either turn the knob on the radio or put a record on the phonograph. You could even listen to several records by stacking them on the spindle and they would drop down when the previous record was over. Now THAT was technology. I remember when my son was younger, his friends visited our house. They were just amazed as to how that worked. They stood and watched it over and over and over again. And laughed at me over and over and over again.
On television last night, they told me that if I want to listen to music in the future, I am going to have to download the music to my MP3 player off my broadband connection and subscription music service, plug the player into my computer, plug something called a router into my computer, plug a comparable router into my stereo receiver, turn on the stereo receiver and tell the computer what songs to play from the MP3 player, which will wirelessly transmit the music from my computer to my stereo receiver....Voila!!!! You have music. And at no extra cost, I can set the temperature of my furnace and refrigerator, all at the touch of a button, or 10 or 20 buttons, all from the same place. The only problem is I can't figure out if I press a button whether I am going to get a recording of Swan Lake or air conditioning or make the garage door go up. I don't want to know how to do this. It is just too hard.
I bought a surround system for my HDTV television last winter. There is enough bass in the sub-woofer to shake the house. In fact, that is probably why we have water coming up the center wall of the foundation in the basement. I must have blasted some buried spring. Now that I think about it, the first time I tried it out was the day of the Tsunami in Indonesia. Hmmmm!! I was thrilled to death when last week I finally figured out how to adjust the damn thing as well as all of the other speakers with which I have surrounded myself. Now it is just somewhat annoying instead of perfectly awful. And I have only been fiddling (yes, fiddling) with this electronic marvel since January. It was also a lesson in motor skills, because to turn down the volume of any of the speakers, you have to catch them in rotation as the name of the speaker flashes in front of your eyes on the television. "Left front - Right front - Center front." You only have 3 seconds to press the button to say that is the speaker you want to adjust, and of course you have to press three buttons simultaneously in order to adjust the volume. I don't have that many fingers. I had to use my big toe.
By the way, in the middle of these technical miracles, they give me a wire as an antenna to the FM radio. Yes, a red wire which is attached by a screw in the back of the system, which I have now strung out the front of the oblong HDTV television screen, and is now wrapped around the knob of the side drawer of my $750.00 entertainment center, which came to me "partially assembled" and took me 10 days to put together. It is a beautiful thing. And the wire is just the right color of red to wrap around the knob. On a good day I can pull in Akron.
The way I figure it, now that I know that my refrigerator can be attached to my computer, I can finally stand a chance of losing weight. If they can make getting ice cream out of the freezer as difficult as it is to turn on the radio, I will be anorexic by Christmas. Just an old dog learning some new tricks. Sub woofer out.....woof woof!!!!!!
On television last night, they told me that if I want to listen to music in the future, I am going to have to download the music to my MP3 player off my broadband connection and subscription music service, plug the player into my computer, plug something called a router into my computer, plug a comparable router into my stereo receiver, turn on the stereo receiver and tell the computer what songs to play from the MP3 player, which will wirelessly transmit the music from my computer to my stereo receiver....Voila!!!! You have music. And at no extra cost, I can set the temperature of my furnace and refrigerator, all at the touch of a button, or 10 or 20 buttons, all from the same place. The only problem is I can't figure out if I press a button whether I am going to get a recording of Swan Lake or air conditioning or make the garage door go up. I don't want to know how to do this. It is just too hard.
I bought a surround system for my HDTV television last winter. There is enough bass in the sub-woofer to shake the house. In fact, that is probably why we have water coming up the center wall of the foundation in the basement. I must have blasted some buried spring. Now that I think about it, the first time I tried it out was the day of the Tsunami in Indonesia. Hmmmm!! I was thrilled to death when last week I finally figured out how to adjust the damn thing as well as all of the other speakers with which I have surrounded myself. Now it is just somewhat annoying instead of perfectly awful. And I have only been fiddling (yes, fiddling) with this electronic marvel since January. It was also a lesson in motor skills, because to turn down the volume of any of the speakers, you have to catch them in rotation as the name of the speaker flashes in front of your eyes on the television. "Left front - Right front - Center front." You only have 3 seconds to press the button to say that is the speaker you want to adjust, and of course you have to press three buttons simultaneously in order to adjust the volume. I don't have that many fingers. I had to use my big toe.
By the way, in the middle of these technical miracles, they give me a wire as an antenna to the FM radio. Yes, a red wire which is attached by a screw in the back of the system, which I have now strung out the front of the oblong HDTV television screen, and is now wrapped around the knob of the side drawer of my $750.00 entertainment center, which came to me "partially assembled" and took me 10 days to put together. It is a beautiful thing. And the wire is just the right color of red to wrap around the knob. On a good day I can pull in Akron.
The way I figure it, now that I know that my refrigerator can be attached to my computer, I can finally stand a chance of losing weight. If they can make getting ice cream out of the freezer as difficult as it is to turn on the radio, I will be anorexic by Christmas. Just an old dog learning some new tricks. Sub woofer out.....woof woof!!!!!!
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