Win/Loss

As a lawyer, I am trained to be an advocate, to zealously represent my client using reason and logic to move an unreasonable and illogical opponent to the more enlightened point of view: mine! That mindset is hard to lose, making me and many other lawyers somewhat obnoxious and often disliked. I tend to be more obnoxious and disliked than most.

It carries into our personal lives, thus making our spouses, by default, advocates also. How else can they win an argument in the predictable battles that accompany any marriage? It also follows us into the many little battles of every day life. There, obnoxiousness is raised to an art form. Lawyers don't like to lose, no matter how small or trivial the issue may be. That is true especially in dealing with the ignorant pinheads who make modern life unbearable....Let me rephrase that. Especially in dealing with people just trying to do their best, doing their jobs, even if the result may not be exactly what I would have wanted.

Saturday was a day of small battles. I lost all of them. It started out with my mother chopping up her new checking account debit card because she didn't know what "debit" means, notwithstanding that she uses the card every day. Even though my name is on the checking account with her, the people at the bank would only talk to her, even after she told them it was alright to talk to me. Yes, they will send her a new card. No, she can't use her old one because the ownership of the bank changed. For future identification, they need my blood type.

The battlefield then shifted to my cell phone company. I wanted to upgrade my phones, but they would only talk to my wife because the primary number is in her name. The secondary number is in my name, but I am irrelevant, as my wife so often reminds me.

The final battle was a "not so great table" at a restaurant that I have eaten in 4 out of the last 5 weekends. The "charming" hostess pretty much told me to take a hike when I asked for a different table. It is apparently my responsibility to tell her where I don't want to sit when I make a reservation. She was fairly rotten about the whole thing. I did manage to hold my temper as I had already humiliated my wife and friends that were with me. I don't think any of them will ever go out with me again. I did talk to the manager, who apologized and offered to move us just as our food came to the table. We declined.

On the way home we stopped at a new martini bar in the downtown area. The discussion floated to class reunions, and it occurred to me that my 40th high school class reunion will be in 2008, two years from now. I have a shot at still being alive to see it. I know several of my classmates who won't. How lucky I am.

So I started to think about the battles I did win on Saturday. I got up in the morning, and that is a good thing. I went to the Home and Garden Show with my wife, and we bought two mops. We laughed all the way home about the mop salesman who could sell a snowball to an Eskimo. We then had a lovely lunch. We helped a lonely lady adjust to her new nursing home surroundings. Bad table notwithstanding, we had a lovely evening with close friends that I hope will overlook my shortcomings and go out with us again. Puhleez!!!!!!

By my count, that is 5 wins versus 3 losses. Not too bad for a Saturday, not bad at all. It all depends on how one looks at things.