Let's All Go to the Dairy Queen!
Has this ever happened to you? You walk into a Dunkin Donuts to buy one glazed and a cup of coffee. In front of you is an innocuous looking person who walks up to the counter, and responds to the question “Can I help you?” with the following: "I would like 5 dozen donuts, and I don’t know what I want. Let me see, I want 2 of the donuts to be chocolate covered cake, no, make that three, no make that two, and don’t make them cake, make them like the glazed, forget that, make them cake, with sprinkles, no, leave the sprinkles off….” And that is just for the first two donuts, more than four dozen to go. The only thing worse is being at the Deli Counter at Rulli Brothers Italian Grocery Store in Boardman where some little ethnic lady is ordering five pounds of lunch meat two slices at a time, then goes and pays for it with exact change out of a buried coin purse located somewhere in a very large black bag.
I was once in a movie theater trying to buy a box of popcorn. I had to take out a mortgage on my house in order to pay for it. There was a long line in front of me, and the gentlemen immediately preceding me had his three “lil’ darlins” with him, average age of 5. I was in line for almost 15 minutes when Dad finally made it to the counter, and said “OK kids…what do you want?” I don’t have to elaborate what happened after that. My movie was going to start any minute when finally I spoke up. Please make up your mind or step aside so the rest of us can get to our movie. I thought he was going to slug me until the people in line behind me started to cheer and clap.
I have had an ice cream craving as of late…my calcium must be low. So there have been a lot of trips to the Dairy Queen. Last night was no exception. I drove my car and got into the drive thru line, which stretched clear around the parking lot. There was a rather interesting looking women at the order speaker, arm hanging out her overly tinted SUV crossover vehicle, and I could hear “blah blah blah…blah blah blah,” rather loudly. The order was clearly sizeable. The line continued to grow behind me.
She finally “pulled up”, and the line moved. I was made in the shade. Next in line was a daffy babe with a ditzy smile on her face in a Lexus SUV. My line of vision improved, and I was able to hear her order. “I would like a cup of coffee” she said. “What would you like in it?” the speaker replied. She answered back “Cream, no…not cream, just sugar…no, give me the cream…do you have low fat milk?” You get the picture. Then the speaker asked “Is there anything else?” I swear to God I heard the Dragnet theme. She proceeded to order, laboriously, $85.95 worth of stuff….from the Dairy Queen, in a drive thru, and she started with a cup of coffee. I gave up and drove out of the line, which by now was stretched to the street. I couldn’t drive out of the parking lot as there were 5 cars blocking the road trying to make a left turn into this ice cream palace. I turned right and took the long way home.
Everything today is hard. So many rules. So many people telling you what to do. So much traffic, and so many people everywhere. But I have concluded that the biggest contributing factor to today’s difficult life is people’s total self absorption in themselves.
Here are some helpful hints to make the world go better. First, get off the cell phone. Then, if you are going to McDonald’s or the Dairy Queen, and you have a large order, get out of your car, work those legs and butt, and walk into the place. Chances are, if you place a large order at the drive thru, it will come out wrong anyway. If you need to do a month’s worth of banking all at one time, get out of your car and walk into the bank and use a teller. Chances are it will go quicker that way. If you are standing in line at a donut joint or movie counter, get your order ready while waiting for the guy in front of you to finish. Chances are he will be ordering a five dozen donuts, one donut at a time, too. Oh, and did I say to get off the cell phone?
Most importantly, get the hell out of my way. If I am in one of those lines it means I’m hungry, and that makes me crabby. Now, let’s all go to the Dairy Queen...and be quick about it!!!!!
I was once in a movie theater trying to buy a box of popcorn. I had to take out a mortgage on my house in order to pay for it. There was a long line in front of me, and the gentlemen immediately preceding me had his three “lil’ darlins” with him, average age of 5. I was in line for almost 15 minutes when Dad finally made it to the counter, and said “OK kids…what do you want?” I don’t have to elaborate what happened after that. My movie was going to start any minute when finally I spoke up. Please make up your mind or step aside so the rest of us can get to our movie. I thought he was going to slug me until the people in line behind me started to cheer and clap.
I have had an ice cream craving as of late…my calcium must be low. So there have been a lot of trips to the Dairy Queen. Last night was no exception. I drove my car and got into the drive thru line, which stretched clear around the parking lot. There was a rather interesting looking women at the order speaker, arm hanging out her overly tinted SUV crossover vehicle, and I could hear “blah blah blah…blah blah blah,” rather loudly. The order was clearly sizeable. The line continued to grow behind me.
She finally “pulled up”, and the line moved. I was made in the shade. Next in line was a daffy babe with a ditzy smile on her face in a Lexus SUV. My line of vision improved, and I was able to hear her order. “I would like a cup of coffee” she said. “What would you like in it?” the speaker replied. She answered back “Cream, no…not cream, just sugar…no, give me the cream…do you have low fat milk?” You get the picture. Then the speaker asked “Is there anything else?” I swear to God I heard the Dragnet theme. She proceeded to order, laboriously, $85.95 worth of stuff….from the Dairy Queen, in a drive thru, and she started with a cup of coffee. I gave up and drove out of the line, which by now was stretched to the street. I couldn’t drive out of the parking lot as there were 5 cars blocking the road trying to make a left turn into this ice cream palace. I turned right and took the long way home.
Everything today is hard. So many rules. So many people telling you what to do. So much traffic, and so many people everywhere. But I have concluded that the biggest contributing factor to today’s difficult life is people’s total self absorption in themselves.
Here are some helpful hints to make the world go better. First, get off the cell phone. Then, if you are going to McDonald’s or the Dairy Queen, and you have a large order, get out of your car, work those legs and butt, and walk into the place. Chances are, if you place a large order at the drive thru, it will come out wrong anyway. If you need to do a month’s worth of banking all at one time, get out of your car and walk into the bank and use a teller. Chances are it will go quicker that way. If you are standing in line at a donut joint or movie counter, get your order ready while waiting for the guy in front of you to finish. Chances are he will be ordering a five dozen donuts, one donut at a time, too. Oh, and did I say to get off the cell phone?
Most importantly, get the hell out of my way. If I am in one of those lines it means I’m hungry, and that makes me crabby. Now, let’s all go to the Dairy Queen...and be quick about it!!!!!
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