Downsizing Christmas

I have always overdone it at Christmas. At one point in our lives, my wife and I would put up five Christmas trees, including a brown one with orange lights and orange bird ornaments. It actually was my favorite tree, but a bit much. As the years have gone by, so has our motivation. Add that to being just plain too pooped to pop, we have cut back a lot. Of course, cutting back is a relative term…and for the most part our house still looks like it has barfed Christmas, not to mention a completely filled cabinet of Christmas CD’s!

This year has been marked by significant losses in my family, the latest happening at 7:30 PM yesterday, Christmas Eve. It is hard for people from large families to “downsize.” As my family has died off, or moved away or moved on away from me by choice, this is the first year I face the holidays without an extended family…just us chickens, so to speak. I am fortunate that I have a great wife and son. I also have great in-laws who will be visiting us this Sunday. We always have a good time. Life tends to balance out.

What it has done, however, is to make me more keenly aware of those who are alone. Beginning in October, the increasingly abundant media outlets around us try to define what constitutes a Happy Christmas. Oh, how wonderful it is to be out caroling, and sipping eggnog or mulled wine. Family should come a-calling with lots of hugs and kisses. It should be “old fashioned”, whatever that means. There is no place like home for the holidays…and we all should be hurrying home listening to Perry Como along the way. People should be dressed in casual chic, standing around the fireplace opening the perfect presents. Love should surround us and the world should be happy.

Well, most of us have been able to get around the Norman Rockwell picture, at least to a degree. Sitting home watching this stuff on television is not quite the same as “living” the experience. It tends to be a tad depressing for many, and extremely depressing for some. It emphasizes all that is wrong in our lives rather than what is good. We must be doing something wrong because our lives don’t measure up. I have heard more than once this year people saying how happy they will be when Christmas if over. I don’t mean the usually mantra we all jokingly say. I am hearing it from more and more folks who are alone, and are deeply hurting.

There is an obscure Christmas song called “Here’s to the Lonely.” I wish the “media” among us would listen to it in the spring each year, as they lay plans for the following Christmas season. Maybe they could show that Christmas is more than false frivolity and excessive spending, and show how those who are hurting can participate in this season celebrating Christ’s birth.

I wish that we, as a culture, would begin to rediscover each other, and offer a helping hand to those who may need a boost at this time of year. The continuing blasting media and communication outlets surrounding us in the digital age may actually have a good unintended consequence. I have noticed an ever slight movement to more mundane Christmas activities that may have a more personal meaning. The only way to get away from a 24 hour blasting digital Christmas pounding our brains with Christmas propaganda, is to just turn it off, and look for simpler things. If you have attended any of the live Christmas performances this past year...they all have been packed. A Charlie Brown Christmas ceases to be special when you can view it whenever you want on Hulu, or pay per view, or umpteen other places. But a live performance is one of a kind, and a shared experience.

So here is wishing you a quieter and simpler Christmas. If you see someone around you hurting this time of year, remind them that most of this "commercially generated" season is just window dressing. The Christmas that counts is found somewhere else. And here's a little secret, it doesn't have eggnog or mulled wine. Merry Christmas.