Creepy Technology and Me

I was reading in Business Week that Intel (ta da duh duh) is developing a new chip to be used in billboards that recognize the age, sex, and other characteristics of passers-by. It will then display a demographically correct ad for that person. Wow!! The article said that such a billboard was part of a movie called Minority Report which I apparently missed at the movie theater, and I am glad I did. That is just too creepy!

In fact, life is getting too creepy. I now pay my bills through PNC Bank’s online payment service. It’s the damndest thing. It electronically pays whatever bills I tell it to. If it can’t do it electronically, the bank will actually print a check and mail it. The bank doesn’t charge for the service, not even postage if they have to mail a check. Do you know how many bills I send out each month? Postage alone must save a couple hundred bucks over a year, not to mention the cost of very expensive Quicken checks. Such a deal. I can even have my bills sent to the bank which will then remind me to pay them. It’s really cool…and really creepy.

Now I am reading about the fight for dominance of the internet between Apple/AT&T and Google/Verizon. These digital age titans are battling it out as to, and what, will be bringing full internet services into your home and all of your devices. Apple, for example, has Apple-TV. It’s like an I-Pod, only for television. It’s a tiny little box that hooks up to your television, and brings movies from Netflix into your home, as well music and television programming, as well as being interactive with your computer.

Google and Verizon have hooked up to do the same thing, but only through Google’s platform (whatever that is) and the soon to be introduced Google-TV. Movies will be delivered through You Tube. It, too, will provide you with music and other television programming, and be interactive with your computer.

Both entities, of course, keep records and monitor electronically what you are doing. Read the Google privacy, and even when it’s good it’s bad. There are ways you can block this electronic eavesdropping, but it takes some doing. Porn surfers beware!! All these wonderful things are turning out to be just a little bit creepy.

Verizon, by virtue of its purchase of Alltel, is my cell phone carrier. Verizon unilaterally changed my plan so I was paying beaucoup bucks for my son’s texting on our “family” plan. So...we went in search of a new carrier, or at least, a new plan that provides for unlimited texting until we could find a new carrier. In the context of this effort, I was asked what kind of device I wanted. I didn’t want a device. I wanted a cell phone, preferably one I could hear as my phone has a busted volume function, or I am getting hard of hearing. Either way, I thought it might be nice if I dialed, (I mean pressed) a number, somebody at the other end would be able to answer and we could have a conversation, preferably one where there was actual spoken language instead of texting.

Long story short…I felt like a complete idiot trying to decide between smart phones, multi function phones, and dumb phones. In the end, I decided to keep my dumb phone. But they did have one that would wipe my rear. It was cobalt blue. That was major creepy.

I am not sure where this technological revolution is taking us. There are many benefits to the age in which we live. Creepy or not, that PNC bill pay service is outstanding. And I think that we are finally stumbling to simplicity and unity of our technological needs and functions. At least the companies are making efforts to coordinate everything and reach a unified system where my television and stereo system and phone system and computer all work with each other with one or two touches of a button. We can only hope.

In the meantime, I will put my fist through one of those smart billboards if, when I walk by, I see an ad for Adult Depends, Geritol, and Viagara!!!!