Mark's Six Tips for Tolerance

America has been through a lot.  These past five years have tested our mettle.  In addition to economic and health care issues, the concepts of patriotism, tolerance, and diversity have been perverted.  Much as the right has co-opted patriotism as a conservative concept, so has the left co-opted the concept of diversity and tolerance.  In the process, the entire country has become intolerant, suspicious, and afraid of each other.  Now it is time to stop and for Americans to come together.  Here’s how.

1)            Agree to disagree – There are 335 million Americans.  Guess what!!!  None of us is going to agree with the rest of us on everything.  In reality we are probably going to disagree on most things.  So why don’t we just agree to disagree…and that’s okay!!!!

2)            We are in this together – America is a big ship, and we are all passengers.  It’s a long ride and we can’t get off the boat.  That is our commonality.  Whether we agree with each other or not, we all have to work together or we will sink.

3)            Patriotism comes in many forms – 9/11 was a terrible event in our history.  But if there was a silver lining, it was the country coming together to grieve and vent and to help one another.  We were all Americans.  Guess what. We still are.  The dispute as to the nature of our Constitution is not new.  It has been there since its inception.  Whether you believe it as a living document or a document which deals in absolutes, it belongs to all of us and actually works in its own cumbersome way.  Our founding documents were designed to allow for give and take.  Difference of opinion doesn’t make anyone unpatriotic…just different. 

4)            Tolerance and Intolerance are different sides of the same coin – Tolerance means allowing others to express a point of view or peacefully live a life different than yours.  It doesn’t mean shutting people up with whom you disagree.  So whether you are a conservative evangelical Christian opposing gay marriage or civil unions, or a left wing atheist attempting to prevent Christmas carols in the public schools…the message is the same.  Express your point of view then shut up.  There are no absolutes.  Tolerate what the other side is doing even if you vehemently disagree.  Use some common sense.  Is it worth disrupting an entire country to satisfy your own personal needs?  That is the height of intolerance.  No matter how right you may believe you are, be willing to bend a bit without destroying the other side of the issue.

5)             Follow Thumper's Rule - Remember Bambi...and Thumper the rabbit?  Thumper's mother had a rule.  If you can't say anything nice, don't say nothin' at all.  That's a good rule.  No...you don't have to express yourself and your opinion about something just because you can.  Whether you are the Duck Dynasty Dudes or the commentators on MSNBC criticizing the Romney's for adopting an African American baby....think twice before opening your mouth.  You will regret it if you don't.  Contrary to the general rule, words can hurt.  And if you are at the receiving end of such a verbal faux pas...GET OVER IT.  You'll live.

6)          Participate in the political process – I was at a party the other night. Someone was complaining about an issue and I agreed with his complaint.  After listening to him for about a half hour, I asked him what he was doing about it.  He looked at me and said…nothing.  I told him I agree with his position 100%, but his complaining to me does nothing to change the problem.  Get involved with the political process and do something.  Don’t complain to me about not winning the lottery if you haven’t bought a ticket.  On our own, it is difficult to make a difference.  But enough people taking a stand and saying no to something, that works every time.  You have to be participatory to find others who believe as you.  Yes…it is a dirty process.  So what!!!  It works eventually.

7)           Keep a sense of humor – Always remember, in 100 years we will all be lucky if we have someone to cut the grass on our graves.  So have a good time and laugh.  Humor is in everything around us, even in the tragedies of life.  To quote Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias, laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.  Laughter and smiles are the great unifiers.  It is really hard to hate somebody with whom you have shared a laugh. 

If only we could follow these simple tips and rules, America could be a much better place.