Mark Knows It All

So I was having lunch with a friend of mine the other day who is a non-Catholic. Stories abounded on television about the beatification of John Paul II, one of the most popular popes in my lifetime, if not for hundreds of years. My friend asked me: “Why would people pray to a dead pope?” I was taken aback. I am a lapsed Catholic who considers himself to be an Episcopalian while currently attending a Lutheran church…don’t ask. I just assumed everybody knew why people would pray to a dead pope…or any of the saints for that matter. “What is it that you expect him to do?” he queried further. Being raised Catholic, I never questioned the saints. I explained to my friend that we don’t pray to the saints for a direct act. We pray to the saints to intercede on our behalf with God. “Can’t you do that directly yourself?” he further inquired. He got me there. The Lutheran in me began to come out. A few days later, I talked to another Catholic friend about the conversation. My friend said that I n...

Every now and then I come across a magazine article that is just too good to pass up. George Will wrote an editorial in last week’s edition of Newsweek giving us a snapshot of America in 2010. Here are some of the interesting facts contained in the article, but tweaked with my sparkling commentary. 1) Democrats compared Republicans to Neanderthals, which was probably close to the truth. In 2010 we learned that 4% of the human genome of modern non-Africans comes from the extinct Neanderthals who mated with our migrating forefathers in Europe. Quick, find me a woman to drag by the hair. 2) 52% of American adults are married in 2010 compared to 72% in 1960. And you wonder whatever happened to family values!!!! 3) The government owns General Motors. General Motors is building the electric Volt to quell government global warmers. The government is giving a $7500.00 tax credit to anyone who buys a $42,000.00 Volt. The government has to borrow the money from China in order to give the tax cre...

It could have happened to anyone. It was an ordinary day. My wife and I had a major celebratory event occur in our lives and I wanted to commemorate it with a piece of jewelry. I had picked something out a month ago. I even put it in layaway and had been making weekly payments on it getting it down to a balance that I could afford to pay off. I owed $x,xxx.00 on the balance of the bauble, and this weekend marked the event. Would she be surprised! Being the pseudo computer geek that I am, I paid the balance owed to my credit card company on line the day before I went to pick up the little sparkly so I wouldn’t have to write a check. On Friday, off to the jewelers to get my shiny gift out of hock. It was soooo pretty, all laid out in the leather bound folder. “Do you want it gift wrapped?” asked the lady. “Of course I do!” I responded. The owner of the store is a friend of mine. We belong to the same club. He runs a hell of a business. The store, as usual, was filled with customers. Bill...

My New Year’s resolutions for 2011: I resolve to lose fifty pounds. I resolve to work out at least three times per week. I resolve not to swear. I resolve to get things done when they are supposed to be done. I resolve to be nice to ALL of my relatives. I resolve to clean out my drawers and my closet. I resolve to save money and not use my credit cards. I resolve not to drink so much on Friday nights. And if you believe that, let me talk to you about some land I own in Las Vegas. Are we nuts or what? On the list of holidays, Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas are my top three. The bottom three on my list are the Fourth of July, New Year’s, New Year’s, and New Year’s again. I know that is four, but I must have forgotten to resolve last year to learn how to count. As you can tell, I dislike New Year’s as a holiday intensely. They don’t come much more depressing. All of those glittering Christmas decorations all of a sudden look sad and shabby. The hoopla of the holiday season is over as ...

I have been writing my blog since June, 2005. Every Christmas I have been fortunate enough to have some transcendent experience that has given some insight or meaning to the holiday to me in a personal way. Those experiences, in turn, became the subject of my Christmas blog and some of my most read essays. Everybody loves Christmas. So this year, I anxiously awaited my transcendent experience. I looked for it in the snow events we have had the past couple of weeks. I have searched in my choral activities, both in my church choir and Seraphim. I have looked for a meaningful Christmas movie or television program. I have listened to untold hours of Christmas music, even breaking my proverbial rule of “no dead people” Christmas recordings. (It really is time to bury Perry Como and Bing Crosby!!!) But this year, I got nothin’. No revelations. No warm and cuddly feelings. No inspiration. No life epiphanies. Plain and simple, I got Christmas bupkis. I haven’t bought myself my Christmas presen...

And the winner of the most fascinating story of the decade goes to Julian Assange and his WikiLeaks leaks!! You couldn’t make this story up if you tried. So Mr. Assange is an avowed leftist with support from socialists and libertarians…an interesting combination if there ever was one. At any rate, his goal is to destroy the security of the United States by leaking hundreds of thousands of classified documents to the public allegedly provided to him by one Private First Class Bradley Manning who downloaded the stuff on a laptop in the middle of the Iraq desert. The peachy faced Bradley Manning is now in jail, which hasn't prevented the City Council in Berkley from honoring him as a great American. Assange releases the first group of classified documents, and the Obama administration ignores him. Then he releases the second group of classified documents, and the Obama administration ignores him again; but this time there is trouble. This group wasn’t mundane and listed a whole bunch ...

Every now and then you come across something that is just to good to pass up. This past week’s Business Week magazine contained a story about the massive amounts of manure in Stephenville, Texas, home to a plethora of Texas dairy farms. An equally massive fiberglass bovine named Moola the Cow is plopped right down in the middle of the square in tribute to the area’s primary agricultural product. Of course, downwind of Stephenville is another story altogether. Those of you who yearn for an idyllic life in the country most likely haven’t lived there. Life on the farm has many advantages. Fresh air isn’t one of them. But do not run away, green technology will save the day. A company named Microgy came riding into town with a holster full of federally backed green dollars to build a poop to gas plant (technical name: anaerobic digesters). Huzzah!!! The town was thrilled that this green upstart outfit was going to take the cow manure off of their hands and boots, and turn it into pipeline ...

The other day while sitting in a bar having a drink to calm my holiday rattled nerves, the big screen television was showing the Oprah Winfrey Show…the Oprah Favorite Things 2010 edition!!! For those of you in the minority who don’t know what that is…everyone in the audience gets all of Oprah’s Favorite Things to take home. Now I am not an Oprah fan, and have only rarely watched even a part of her show. But this big screen television was in my face…and what I saw was both frightening and fascinating at the same time. It was a greed frenzy of the third kind. Begin with she “gave away” a whole lot of stuff, from food to lingerie to fragrance to food to I-Pads to more food to jewelry to a Volkswagon…cars for everybody. Of course we all know that in reality, she gives away nothing. It’s the product manufacturer that gives the stuff away in return for a major plug on her show to her vast audience. But a Volkswagaon? Really? The people in the audience were whooping and hollering. They were s...

Here we go, folks. It’s time for my annual Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) rant. Those who suffer from this unfortunate malady really, really hate winter. How we handle it, however, varies from person to person. For those of you who don’t know, SAD is a depressive disorder directly related to the amount of daylight. As summer flows into autumn, and autumn into winter, the decreased amount of daylight has an adverse psychological affect on sufferers such as me. Individuals handle the situation differently. The most severe sufferers should consult a physician and take proper medication. Moderate sufferers, such as me, can use other alternatives. One popular method is to sit under a specially designed light that mimics sunlight. My house is fortunate enough to have ample mercury vapor lighting in our backyard which helps a lot. My SAD operates differently than most. The problem kicks in with the anticipation of less daylight rather than actually experiencing it, usually right around Jun...

I have come to the conclusion that Vivaldi must have been a Democrat. He has planted an earworm in my head, and I can’t get it out. I have done everything to get this horrendous gavotte out of my head, but Domine Dei Unigenite keeps be-bopping around between my ears. I even tried banging my head against the wall, and all this Republican stuff came flowing out all available orifices leaving Domine Dei Unigenite ba ba-ba ba-baing over and over and over again in the caverns of my brain. I dare you to play it more than once, and you will be humming it forever and ever and ever and ever…and I don’t mean the Hallelujah Chorus. You can listen to it here. Let’s start with the basics. Wikipedia defines an“earworm” as “a portion of a song or other music that repeats compulsively within one's mind, put colloquially as "music being stuck in one's head." If you fancy yourself to be a half baked musician like myself, it happens over and over again. My last earworm was a song my c...

I did it. I moved the dark side. I crossed over into the land to techies and “text-ies.” I bought a smart phone. More specifically, my new best friend is now a Blackberry Curve. It slices. It dices. It will even wipe my nose. We are, quite literally, joined at the hip….with this really neat belt loop black leather carrying case for $19.99!!!! How did I live without it? Seriously, folks, I use my computer all the time for just about everything. I bought a net book to take on vacations, and it is a tad on the slow side. But I have always been behind in the mobile device area. I had this five year old LG flip phone which I had difficulty hearing while talking on it. It was a bit frayed around the ages. And to be honest, it was humiliating to pull it out. My son, who is on our family plan, had the identical phone and seemed to get by with it fine. He could text on the number key pad, a skill I that was way beyond me. He could hear. He could talk on in it. And he told me he would never get...

I go away for a week and all hell breaks loose. Of course, it’s the silly political season…but c’mon. Here I go: 1) I was literally driving past NPR in Washington when I heard about the Juan Williams/NPR firing scandal on the radio. I can’t believe that they are getting away with this. Everyone knows that NPR is a liberal bastion funded by public money, but was quiet about it. Now, it is front and center. I predict that public funding for NPR will be terminated within a year. The initial justification for public radio and television is rooted back in the day when the three major networks gave short shrift to intellectual and cultural programming. The argument was that type of programming was inherently unprofitable and needed government assistance. Not the case anymore!!! Cable and satellite television is loaded with it…all making money…and all doing it better. You can turn on the Discovery Channel, the History Channel, A & E, Oxygen, the Learning Channel…and for liberal news comme...

Money is the mother’s milk of politics. You can hate it. You can disagree with it. You can spout a thousand platitudes about the virtues of “grass roots" campaigns. You can scream for reform. You can limit campaign contributions. But at the end of the day, one political mailing in Mahoning County can cost in excess of $15,000.00. One 30 second television ad on the WFMJ evening news costs $1200.00. The post office won’t deliver the mail without being paid. WFMJ won't run the ad without being paid, in advance!!! Somebody has to pay the freight. So it’s a dirty business, but that is the nature of the beast. How much money have you contributed to your favorite candidate this year? I bet the answer from most of you is nothing. (Alright...I can hear you snickering what favorite candidate!!!) You run the other way when you see the fundraiser coming. You don’t answer the phone. You throw away the mail. And then complain when the candidate you don’t want wins, or when the candidates re...

Macy's Headquarters in Cincinnati, Ohio Business Week magazine had an interesting article this week about Macy’s Department Store. Apparently the powers that be have decided that their stores need to be more “local” in character. Its regional managers now have increased autonomy to sell goods tailored to a store’s specific geographic location. For example, you can buy old fashioned coffee percolators on Long Island; boy’s formal wear in Utah; and specific types of candy in Chicago. Gee, isn’t that how it worked before Macy’s took all of the previously local branded department stores national? Well, not exactly. But the evolution of Macy’s, Inc. is a fascinating story traveling two roads; one of which began in New York City; the other in Columbus, Ohio…and even crossed roads here in Youngstown. There is ALWAYS a Youngstown connection. The Miracle on 34th Street Macy’s was founded in New York City in 1858 by Rowland Macy. The star in the logo goes back to a tattoo Mr. Macy had on hi...

Over the past two weeks, you may have noticed in the news an increasing level of murder/suicides. In fact, it has become so common it actually has stopped making news. There have been several right here in Ohio within families, the workplace, schools, and social settings. These stories have moved from the front page of the papers and the leads on national news, to blurbs on the various online news services that may or may not make the evening television news. To quote the lady addressing President Obama at the CNBC town hall, is this the new normal? What is going on? The blame lies in several places with the additions and subtractions to what people my age would consider normal America. 1) Start with technology. We are bombarded constantly with telephone calls, text messages, emails, and instant messages. There is no break. There is no respite. Go into a store and talk to a young clerk. The only human contact these days is filtered through some digital gizmo. The lack of ability to rel...

For those of you who don’t watch Fox News, Stephen Colbert of the Comedy Channel was invited to testify in Congressional Hearings on farm workers and illegal immigrants. Stephen Colbert is host of a satirical show called The Colbert Report in which he portrays a faux conservative commentator. This, along with The Daily Show , is done in a real news format. The problem is many folks, including many young people and college age students, use it as their sole source of news thinking the programs are real. Seriously! The political content is far left. At any rate, he was asked to testify in front of the committee by California Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren as an advocate of illegal alien rights. It is unclear whether he was supposed to do it in character, but it began to garner attention on the conservative blogs and airwaves yesterday morning, particularly on the Fox and Friends early morning show. They asked a simple question. Why was a comedian, with no particular knowledge of the problem...

In case you didn’t know, stores in the European Union were banned from selling incandescent light bulbs as of August 1, 2009.. The environmental whackos decided that the light bulbs we know and love are destroying the environment. For several years leading up to the ban on “trafficking” in light bulbs, stores, museums and regular folks hoarded light bulbs to the point where some larger retail establishments and museums have years of light bulbs stashed away. Funny, isn’t it? Don’t laugh. It is coming here. As of January 1, 2012, the United States is imposing energy standards on a light bulb producer’s "fleet." Each bulb has to meet certain energy standards. The standards are written so that the incandescent light bulb can’t meet them, effectively banning their sale. Beginning January 1, 2011, packages of bulbs have to contain so much information as to lumens and such, that stores are concerned about how much shelf space the packages will take up. And the information will have...

I was reading in Business Week that Intel (ta da duh duh) is developing a new chip to be used in billboards that recognize the age, sex, and other characteristics of passers-by. It will then display a demographically correct ad for that person. Wow!! The article said that such a billboard was part of a movie called Minority Report which I apparently missed at the movie theater, and I am glad I did. That is just too creepy! In fact, life is getting too creepy. I now pay my bills through PNC Bank’s online payment service. It’s the damndest thing. It electronically pays whatever bills I tell it to. If it can’t do it electronically, the bank will actually print a check and mail it. The bank doesn’t charge for the service, not even postage if they have to mail a check. Do you know how many bills I send out each month? Postage alone must save a couple hundred bucks over a year, not to mention the cost of very expensive Quicken checks. Such a deal. I can even have my bills sent to the bank w...

Whether you are a Republican or Democrat or Libertarian or Independent, Labor Day marks the traditional beginning of the political season. This is when most Americans begin to pay attention to what is going on, and start to make up their minds who to support or not support. While Election Day is still the first Tuesday in November, campaign time is compressed with the advent of widespread absentee voting. Candidates are now forced to view two election days…the one in November, and the first day of absentee voting the last week of September. Some states have eliminated Election Day altogether, replacing it with a date that mail-in votes must be received. The wisdom of that type of election procedure is an argument for another day. No matter what, America owes a debt of gratitude to those who are in the trenches fighting the good fight for their point of view and/or their party. It is a thankless job for the workers, and for the candidates. Politicians are ranked in disdained professions...

Our periodic loss of freedom check has a number interesting entries. 1) TRASH TALKIN’ COMPUTER CHIPS : The City of Cleveland has just invested $1.5 million of stimulus money in garbage cans with micro chips. City trash collectors are supposed to use scanners to see who is putting out recycling cans, and who is not. If it appears that a city resident is not putting out the recycling containers with recyclable trash, the garbage collector is supposed to knock on the resident’s door and make inquiries. If the resident continues to refuse to recycle, the resident can be fined up to $500.00. City fathers claim the amount of recyclable versus non-recyclable trash directly effects their landfill cost/reimbursment rates. Maybe so, but I smell a do-gooder. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. 2) PHILADELPHIA BLOGGER POLICE : Several bloggers in Philadelphia made around $50.00 in miscellaneous Google ads (see: adsense) and foolishly reported the income on their city income tax. The city is...